Nessie's Corner

I Wish I Understood More…

You know that feeling when something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is? I have that feeling all the time because to tell the truth something is usually going wrong in our family…I think we just have a streak of bad luck like that going on, but that’s not actually what this is about. I think there might be something like wrong with me….and I don’t know what it is. It sort of all started last week when we went to the hospital in my class. It was an awesome visit and we got to see all sorts of cool stuff and even watch a surgery. And while the extreme high point of my day was watching Sam pass out, I left the hospital with the oddest feeling. Like I can’t describe it, but I have been feeling so weird ever since.

Like even when I went hunting with Alice and Jasper on Sunday. I came back from our hunt and I still felt weird and I didn’t get why. The last time I went hunting I felt loads better, but this time not so much. But I really wanted my trip to see my grandpa to go nice so I just sort of pushed it to the side and hoped it would go away. But it didn’t. In fact things got even weirder yesterday. Normally I don’t have any issues in airports or on planes, but yesterday I struggled with both. Being in the airport was like a being in a torture chamber. I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to cry, but I knew my parents would freak out so I just kept close to them and hoped it would get better on the plane. But it was even worse. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t so I just cuddled up with my mom and dad. I think they noticed I wasn’t feeling well or whatever it is I got going on, and I know they’re worried and that’s what I didn’t want. They can’t be worried over something even I don’t understand. 

Since we’ve been in Forks I’ve felt better. Like the feeling is still there but I’m a lot more relaxed about it. And I’m having so much fun with my grandpa it’s been a nice distraction from everything. Like he’s still my super awkward stachetastic grandpa, but its been nice to be around him. He set up my mom’s old room for me and it looks just like hers from when she lived there. My mom had nice taste or rather my grandpa did cause she told me he picked stuff out. And he doesn’t bother with a lot of questions and I like that too. And he only asked about Dylan one time and he said he just wanted me to know that the shot gun was ready but that’s it. It’s nice not to have people harping on it all the time. My parents sometimes do more harm than good when they bring it up all the time. And i know they are worried I won’t talk to them and stuff but there’s nothing to talk about right now. 

So for now I’m just glad to be away from Hanover and with my grandpa. I missed him tons and I know i’m gonna have the best week ever without anything exploding cause he’s a cop and it would be awkward if he exploded things. :)