Nessie's Corner

Rambles…

I know I should be like bouncing off the walls happy because my birthday is next week, and I get to go back to school next week too, but to tell the truth…I’m not. I’m even a little bit excited about my birthday or going back to school. I had a really crazy summer. I mean like really crazy. I guess all the ick started back when I broke up with Jake earlier this year, and since then its like this little black rain cloud has just been following me.  And not a cute Pooh Bear shaped one but a mean one that’s not cute with feelers and tentacles like Ursula. 

School last semester was so fun save for the whole dylan incident. And even though that was hard to deal with, I made it through with the help of a few friends and my family and I thought I’d be going back to school like normal in the fall and we’d live it up properly as sophomores. After all it is my first full year there I’m starting. But that’s not gonna happen now. After my accident a few weeks ago- I think my parents got scared and instead of letting me be in regular classes this fall…I’m doing independent music studies for both instruments and all my pre-med courses are online. Which basically means…I have no reason to visit campus save to chat my independent study professors once a month. 

I just want to cry thinking about it. I’ve been coping with everything a lot better since I got home from Volterra and since Jake and I got back together we’ve been spending loads of time together and that’s been helping keep my mind off things. But…its not really been lost on me that I haven’t been allowed to go anywhere off our property since I got back. And I’m scared to hunt alone so Jake goes with me right now…I just thought maybe my family might trust me a little more to be okay…but I guess my issues are a lot worse than I thought. It makes me really sad…all I want to do is be like a normal college kid, but I guess that’s never gonna happen now. 

The perk is since I don’t really have classroom committments I can visit Jake a lot. Its gonna be horrible next week. He’s leaving the day after my birthday and for the first time ever…I really don’t want my birthday to come. I want him to stay here with me for always. We had our super rough patch earlier this year, but i think we’re both in a better place to be together now…and now…we can’t just be together. But it’ll be okay I hope. I’m gonna try to stay strong for Jake. Its a lot harder for him to be away from me cause of the imprint…but I love him to pieces and I hate we are gonna be far apart :(

its just been a really sucky two days I guess. But it’ll get better I hope. I still get to go to school, I have the best boyfriend ever…I have so much to be thankful for, so I’m just gonna focus on that and maybe next semester I can have regular class and I’ll still get to see Jake alot and maybe I’ll get a pet unicorn…cause I like them too :P